When you’re creating something in your life, it’s great to look at what’s your business and what isn’t your business.
Years ago when I first started my personal development journey I was involved in a spiritual group. There was a woman who used to come to our healing sessions and take up a large part of the groups time telling us her latest drama.
One of the women there got sick of it and called her on it. I was worried because some of her stuff was very full on. But this other woman said “It’s none of your business.”
I was a bit taken aback by that as I’d always been taught that we have to look after others. At lest, I had to look after others. But I could feel the truth of it and I felt a burden lift off me.
Kindness and compassion are great values and as a society we couldn’t function without them. I’m sure we all have friends, family and colleagues, who tell the same story of drama in their life, over and over again, just with different players. No matter how many times we’ve listened and sympathised and given advice, nothing changes. Mostly because they don’t want to change or don’t want to take responsibility for what that change entails. Or maybe because they’ve always had someone whose there and willing to take the burden off them.
Adults are responsible for themselves. We’re all responsible for what we create in our life. At the very least what we contribute to the story is our responsibility. Whether they’re a 4 year old in a adult body or a 40 year old in an adult body. It’s still their business. It’s great to be there for our friends and family and having a supportive family and some very supportive friends I know the value of that.
However, you also need to give yourself that compassion and kindness and space and time for your own business. Both personal and professional. Is that two hours out of your day listening to someone’s problem really your business? Or is it just a distraction from your own business?
I’m always there for my family and friends when they ask but I’m less willing to hear the same story without evidence of action or change.
My time is precious and so is yours. The time and energy you save can be put into working on your own business.
The irony is that you do no one any favours by assuming they don’t know how to handle their problems. Assuming someone is powerful and setting boundaries around your time can be the catalyst and impetus they need to change. Do them a favour as well as yourself.
I love to have long conversations with my friends and family and love problem solving. But in a creative way that changes things. Discern where you are leaking energy from your life by getting involved in things that are none of your business.
Notice the energy that is freed up by letting go of those things which aren’t. Enjoy the transformation which occurs by taking responsibility for your business and allowing others to take care of theirs.